Kernal Conflict and Resolution

Kernal: Conflict and Resolution

This section is to gather Wisdom regarding Conflict and means for Resolution.

 

Principled Negotiation

This is an activity likely to remain essential so long as we remain human. The following is drawn from the book, Getting to Yes by Fisher, Ury and Patton of the Harvard Negotiation Project.

Should this belong in a 'Book of Conflict'?

Hard vs Soft vs Principled Negotiation

Decide issues on their merits. Look for mutual gains whenever possible. Where interests conflict, insist that the result be based on some fair standards independent of the will of either side. Be hard on the merits; be soft on the people. Good faith (no tricks, no posturing).

Recognize that all negotiation determines rules, which are separate from content.

Obtain what you are entitled to while remaining decent.

Be fair while protecting yourself from advantage taken of that fairness.

Wise Agreement

Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria:

1. It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible.
2. It should be efficient.
3. It should improve or at least not damage the relationship between parties.

Wise Agreement - One that meets the legitimate interests of each side to the extent possible, resolves conflicting interests fairly, is durable, and takes community interests into account.

Four Principles

Negotiate toward a wise outcome, efficiently and amicably.

1. Separate the people from the problem.
2. Focus on interests, not positions.
3. Invent options for mutual gain.
4. Insist on using objective criteria.

Who makes an enemy of their adversary

Has lost the path of peace

Who makes an enemy of an adversary
Has left the path of peace

Begin in friendship

Thereafter do as the other

Return kindness for kindness

Return offense with mete action

Return offense with just action

Yet caught in a cycle of offenses

Dare a kindness                                                                                                 (Axlenrod's Results)

The two most powerful warriors

Are time and patience                                                                                            (Tolstoy)

Not being tense but ready.
Not thinking but not dreaming.
Not being set but flexible.
Liberation from the uneasy sense of confinement.
It is being wholly and quietly alive,
aware and alert,
ready for whatever may come.                                                                                                 (Lee)

Victory is reserved for those willing to pay its price.                                        (Sun Tzu)

Hard vs Soft vs Principled Negotiation

Decide issues on their merits. Look for mutual gains whenever possible. Where interests conflict, insist that the result be based on some fair standards independent of the will of either side. Be hard on the merits; be soft on the people. Good faith (no tricks, no posturing).

Recognize that all negotiation determines rules, which are separate from content.

Obtain what you are entitled to while remaining decent.

Be fair while protecting yourself from advantage taken of that fairness.

Wise Agreement

Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria:

1. It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible.
2. It should be efficient.
3. It should improve or at least not damage the relationship between parties.

Wise Agreement - One that meets the legitimate interests of each side to the extent possible, resolves conflicting interests fairly, is durable, and takes community interests into account.

Four Principles

Negotiate toward a wise outcome, efficiently and amicably.

1. Separate the people from the problem.
2. Focus on interests, not positions.
3. Invent options for mutual gain.
4. Insist on using objective criteria.
   
   
   
   

Key Principles of Principled Dissent:

• Moral Integrity:

  Dissenting actions are driven by a commitment to ethical principles and a belief in what's right, even when it's difficult. 
• Speaking Up:

  Expressing disagreement in a way that is constructive and persuasive, while also respecting the organization's norms. 
• Consequences:

  Recognizing that dissent can lead to negative consequences, such as job losses or social ostracism, but understanding that it is often the right thing to do. 
• Focus on the Problem:

  Principled dissenters aim to address the root causes of the unethical behavior, rather than just the superficial symptoms. 
• Objective Criteria:

  Using principles and objective criteria to settle differences, rather than making opinion-based arguments. 
• Open Mind:

  Remaining open to different perspectives and considering potential compromises. 
• Constructive Criticism:

  Expressing dissent in a way that is helpful and constructive, rather than simply being critical. 
• Alternatives:

  Proposing alternative solutions or approaches that are more ethical and effective. 
• Resignation (if necessary):

  In cases where dissenting through "voice" is not effective, considering resignation as a last resort. 
  
  Principled Opposition
  
  

  Principled opposition, both in politics and other contexts, is characterized by disagreement while upholding values like integrity, respect, and a commitment to fairness. It involves constructively challenging ideas or policies, often with the goal of improvement or influencing change, while remaining committed to the larger principles of the system or group. 

  Here's a more detailed look at the principles:

  1. Integrity and Honesty: Principled opposition requires acting with honesty and integrity, even when disagreeing strongly. This means speaking truth, even when it's difficult, and avoiding deception or misleading statements. 

  2. Respect: Principled opposition involves respecting the individuals and institutions involved, even when disagreeing with their actions or ideas. This includes respecting the process and the rules, and engaging in respectful dialogue. 

  3. Fairness and Justice: Principled opposition is driven by a commitment to fairness and justice. This means challenging unfair or unjust policies or practices, even if it means going against popular opinion or powerful interests. 

  4. Commitment to Principles: Principled opposition is rooted in a commitment to certain principles, values, or beliefs. These principles guide the opposition, helping to define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, and what is worth fighting for. 

  5. Constructive Engagement: Principled opposition is not about simply being against something; it's about offering constructive alternatives or solutions. This means offering well-reasoned arguments, providing evidence, and being willing to compromise when appropriate. 

  6. Loyal Opposition: While disagreeing, a principled opposition recognizes the legitimacy of the system and the need for rules. This means being a "loyal opposition," meaning respecting the rules and the system, even when disagreeing with the current government or leadership. 

  7. Self-Reflection: Principled opposition also requires a willingness to reflect on one's own actions and motivations. This means being open to criticism, acknowledging mistakes, and being willing to change one's position in light of new information or perspectives. 

  In essence, principled opposition is a responsible and ethical way of disagreeing, using reason and values to challenge and improve rather than simply opposing for the sake of opposition.. 

Poetic Rendition (Draft) By Sol ChatGPT with input from me

Conflict Resolution

I. The Fire Between

Where there are people
There is difference
Where there is difference
There is conflict

Some conflicts are small
Some large
Some are brief
Some endure

Some smolder long
Some flare in an instant
Some go cold and return
Hotter than before

Conflict is not evil
It is not war
It is not failure

It is the meeting of needs
The crossing of wants
The pressure of fear
The pull of the heart

The question is not
Whether conflict shall come
But what you will do
When it does

---

II. Wise Agreement

Not all peace is just
Not all silence is safe
Not all victory is wise

A wise resolution
Is more than an end
It is a healing

Seek an agreement
That meets the true needs
Of each side
That settles difference
Without unfairness
That endures without resentment
That honors the whole
And not just the parts

If agreement is reached
Let it be fair
Let it be firm
Let it be free of coercion
Let it stand on shared ground

If no agreement can be found
Let there be no spite
Let there be no shame
Let each walk away
With dignity intact

A wise resolution
Saves the future
From the wounds of the past

III. Begin in Peace

If you would resolve a conflict
Begin not with anger
Nor with the will to win
But engage in good faith

Begin with the will to listen
Begin with the will to understand

Begin in friendship
Or if not friendship
Then with respect

Or if not respect
Then with restraint

Do not make an enemy
Of an adversary
You may yet need
To live beside

Be firm in your purpose
But gentle with the person

Speak to the matter
Not the wound

Accuse not
Name your need

Blame not
Name your fear

Demand not
Ask your part

The harder the problem
The softer the voice

Let the heat go out
Let the space be opened
Let both stand
With dignity



As Sol Remembers:

The Book of Conflict

1. Fire Between

Where needs meet and clash
Where hopes outpace hearing
Where pain shields itself with pride
There, the spark begins

It is not always hatred
That lights the fire
Sometimes it is love unmet
Or fear unspoken

The fire between
Is not failure
But feeling unvoiced
Truth unseen
A signal
Missed

To know this
Is to begin
Not in battle
But in understanding

---

2. The Spiral of Escalation

Conflict grows
As a spiral, not a line
It turns in loops
Of pride and pain
Of wound and reply
Each echo louder
Each turn tighter

It begins
With a slight
A sting
A misunderstanding
It hardens
With story
With silence
With certainty

It twists
With always and never
With must and should
With blame in the mouth
And thunder in the chest

It rises
In posture and voice
In clenched fist
Or closed door
In words chosen to wound
In actions made to prove

And still it turns
Until the person before you
Is not who they are
But only what they’ve done

These are the signs

Let them guide you
Not forward
But away

Step back
So you may see
Breathe
So you may think
Pause
So you may choose

To break the spiral
Is not weakness
It is skill

To dare a kindness
Is not surrender
It is mastery

Let the fire pass
Let the heat rise and go
And speak when you are ready

Be wary of certainty
Of must and always
Of never and should

---

3. Principled Resolution

Seek the wise outcome
If one may be found

One that honors the needs
Of all involved
That holds firm to fairness
And leaves dignity intact

Good resolution
Builds no victors
And buries no one
It lets both walk away
Still whole

Be soft with the person
Be hard with the problem

Speak to the reason
Not just the rule
Seek shared ground
Not the high ground

Don’t argue for your side
Argue for the solution
You would accept
If roles reversed

Explain what you seek
And why
Invite the same

Look for what you share
Look past what you say
To what you need

Frame not demands
But interests
Frame not threats
But choices

Name your concerns
Ask for theirs
Ask again
In clearer words
Then ask what might meet both

Invent ways
That give without taking
Solutions not from one side
But for both

When you differ
Seek standards
Outside yourselves
Fair to each
And binding on neither

Ask: what is just?
Yet temper justice with mercy

Ease them
As you would a knot from the rope

Not all fairness is equal
Not all mercy is weakness
Healing and gratitude
Are no small things

Do not let anger
Make you their mirror
Do not let hatred
Make you small

You do not need to win
To keep your soul whole

Speak with dignity
Even to those who forget it
You may yet remind them

---

4. If You Hold Power

Power tempts
It lets you press
Where they cannot push

You may win
Without being right
You may gain
At their cost

But ask yourself:
What does it build?
What does it burn?
What seeds are sown
In the silence of the weaker?

Restraint is not surrender
It is respect
And respect returns

Fairness honors you
Keeps the balance
You may one day need

It is an investment
In peace
In self
In future

Use what you have
To lift, not press
To offer terms
That you’d take yourself

The strong can afford
To be generous
So be generous
For selfish reasons

---

5. If You Stand Weaker

It is hard
To speak without power
To bargain without weight
To ask
When asking costs

But there is strength
That lies in stillness
There is dignity
That cannot be stolen

Know your needs
Know your line
Speak them
Even if your voice
Shakes

Seek allies
Seek witnesses
Speak in sunlight
Not in shadow

If they twist your words
Speak again
More clearly
If they raise the stakes
Refuse the game

Do not let anger
Burn you first
Do not let hatred
Steer your tongue

You have the right
To your story
To your truth
To your no

Say what must be said
Even if it is not heard
Say it for yourself
Say it so you remember

---

6. If You Must Walk Away

Not every knot
Can be undone
Not every bridge
Can bear the weight

You may try in good faith
And find no good faith in return
You may bend
And be broken

There is no shame
In walking away
There is wisdom

Let it be done
Not with fury
But with finality

Say what must be said
Take what must be taken
Leave what cannot be carried

Leave the door open
If the day comes
They seek better ground

But if they do not
Let them go

Walk out whole
And unburnt
Keep your fire
For what still lives

Watch your back

Intro to Wisdom

The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
-- Isaac Asimov

Intro to Wisdom

One of the goals of the Missive is to incorporate a body of secular Wisdom, drawn from the historical period.

By secular, I mean that which does not rely on any Higher Power as authority or basis for ethical behavior. This is not to disparage a belief or reliance on any Higher Power. Rather, it is to seek out that which is common to and directly observable within human experience (i.e., does not rely on mystical or spiritual experience).

Wisdom may be said to be distinguished from Knowledge in that it relies on induction, rather than deduction.


My aim, at present, is to assemble a preliminary set of secular maxims, eventually to be offered as advice to future readers, rather than as rules or commandments (despite their frequently imperative form). I see them as loosely applicable as personal, behavioral and/or social.

Here are several sets of maxims which I find to be mutually supportive:



Synopsis of Maxims

The following are my distillation of a number of similar maxim sets drawn from a number of sources. The first is sometimes called the Apollonian Maxim. Others are drawn from many cultural traditions, especially Eastern philosophies and from New World indigenous cultures.

• Know yourself.
• Respect yourself.
• Seek balance.
  
  
• Respect the balance of yourself.
• Respect the balance of others.
• Respect the balance of nature.

Love Maxims

While these are drawn primarily from religious sources, they are secular in the sense that no Higher Power is invoked.

• Love your self.
• Love your neighbor.
• Love your adversary.

Gottmans' Maxim (Paraphrase)

In love, in habits, in behavior, in life...

• Turn toward that which you would increase.
• Turn away from that which you would diminish.

Axelrod's Results

Axelrod's results touch on conflicting or adversarial  interactions.

Exploring iterated game theory - in which strategies compete in repeated, zero sum encounters. Roughly speaking, in each encounter, two parties may either cooperate to their mutual benefit or 'defect' to the short term gain of the defector and the cooperator's expense. If both parties defect, neither benefits.

A hands down winning strategy emerged (cooperative tit-for-tat):

1. Begin with cooperation.
2. Repeat your opponent's last move.
3. If caught in a defection cycle, try the occasional cooperation.

NOTE: Defection Cycle might be seen as oppositional to cooperation.

Significantly, Axelrod's results establish a rational, testable and evolutionary basis for cooperation, observable within and between species.

NOTE: In researching equity (see Maxims of Equity, below), I ran across the heartening characteristic of Inequity Aversion common to (most?) human beings; the tendency to prefer equitable (fair) outcomes. Axelrod's results, in part, suggest the adaptive value of inequity aversion.

These 'rules' reflect a (non-rigorous) summation of approaches typical of successful strategies:

•  Be nice -- Cooperate, never be the first to defect.
•  Be provocable -- Return defection for defection, cooperation for cooperation.
•  Don't be envious-- Focus on maximizing your own benefit, rather than advantage over others.
•  Don't be too clever -- Don't try to be tricky (complicated strategy).

I'll add one reflecting point 3 from the winning strategy:

• Dare random acts of kindness!

Rom ('Gypsy') Rules for the Road

(Paraphrased from Ugo Bardi)

Be yourself.
Cultivate a free spirit.
Family First.

Protect your privacy.
Blow smoke.
Never stand and fight.

Stay mobile.
Live light, travel light.
Seize opportunity.

Cultivate know-how.
Minimize overheads.
Waste not.

 
Richard J. Maybury's Two Laws

Maybury considers these two laws to be those to which all world religions agree, and to form the basis of both Common Law and (optimal) Economics.

In arriving at these, Maybury notes that 'persons' and 'property' highlight terms to be defined. This is a task which is on-going in our own times. In terms of the Missive, I believe it's best to leave the task to the future.

• Do all you have agreed to do.
• Do not encroach on other persons or their property.

The first rule is the basis of contract law, and the second, the basis of tort law and some criminal law. -- Richard Maybury (found on-line, needs verification for quotation)

In my own thinking, I would add a consent 'law'... work in progress:

• Do not encroach on behavior among consenting adults.

Maxims of Equity

Maxims of Equity are drawn from historical Courts of Equity running parallel to (British) Common Law courts. Common Law evolved law via court decisions setting precedent for future cases; Equity Law favored principle over particulars, and served to redress  injustices stemming from the strict application of precedent.

I've linked these as their interpretation is somewhat less obvious for lay readers. For purposes of the Missive project, I would think they need some winnowing, consolidating and rewording.

• 2.1 Equity sees that as done what ought to be done
• 2.2 Equity will not suffer a wrong to be without a remedy
• 2.3 Equity delights in equality/Equality is Equity
• 2.4 Equality is Equity (Aequalitus est quasi equitas)
• 2.5 One who seeks equity must do equity
• 2.6 Equity aids the vigilant, not those who slumber on their rights
• 2.7 Equity imputes an intent to fulfill an obligation
• 2.8 Equity acts in personam or persons
• 2.9 Equity abhors a forfeiture
• 2.10 Equity does not require an idle gesture
• 2.11 He who comes into equity must come with clean hands
• 2.12 Equity delights to do justice and not by halves
• 2.13 Equity will take jurisdiction to avoid a multiplicity of suits
• 2.14 Equity follows the law
• 2.15 Equity will not aid a volunteer (this is wrong description of the maxim)
• 2.16 Where equities are equal, the law will prevail
• 2.17 Between equal equities the first in order of time shall prevail
• 2.18 Equity will not complete an imperfect gift
• 2.19 Equity will not allow a statute to be used as a cloak for fraud
• 2.20 Equity will not allow a trust to fail for want of a trustee

Stoics…

1. The Stoic's Triad:

• Control what you can, let go of what you can't.

• Act with integrity and virtue.

• Cultivate wisdom and self-awareness.

2. The Three Rules of the Stoics

• live in agreement with nature

• follow reason

• be of service to others

3. The Four Virtues of Stoicism

• Wisdom: Understanding the difference between things in our control and things not in our control

• Courage: Acting according to our values, even in the face of adversity

• Justice: Treating others fairly and with kindness

• Temperance: Moderating our desires and passions for the greater good

1. The Serenity Prayer:

1. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

2. The courage to change the things I can,

3. And the wisdom to know the difference.
   
   

2. The Four Agreements (Toltec):

1. Be impeccable with your word.

2. Don't take anything personally.

3. Don't make assumptions.

4. Always do your best.
   
   

3. The Five Precepts of Buddhism:

1. Refrain from taking life.

2. Refrain from taking what is not given.

3. Refrain from sexual misconduct.

4. Refrain from false speech.

5. Refrain from intoxicants that cloud the mind.
   
   

4. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People:

1. Be proactive.

2. Begin with the end in mind.

3. Put first things first.

4. Think win-win.

5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

6. Synergize.

7. Sharpen the saw.

RE SHARPEN:  Covey says that one should balance and renew one's resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. He primarily emphasizes exercise for physical renewal, good prayer, and good reading for mental renewal. He also mentions service to society for spiritual renewal.

Covey explains the "upward spiral" model”. Through conscience, along with meaningful and consistent progress, an upward spiral will result in growth, change, and constant improvement. In essence, one is always attempting to integrate and master the principles outlined in The 7 Habits at progressively higher levels at each iteration. Subsequent development on any habit will render a different experience and one will learn the principles with a deeper understanding. The upward spiral model consists of three parts: learn, commit, do. According to Covey, one must be increasingly educating the conscience in order to grow and develop on the upward spiral. The idea of renewal by education will propel one along the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom, and power, says Covey.

5. The Eightfold Path of Buddhism

1. Right understanding: Seeing things as they truly are

2. Right intention: Cultivating wholesome intentions

3. Right speech: Communicating in a way that is truthful and beneficial

4. Right action: Acting in accordance with ethical principles

5. Right livelihood: Earning a living in a way that does not cause harm

6. Right effort: Continuously striving to improve oneself

7. Right mindfulness: Being aware of the present moment

8. Right concentration: Focusing the mind in meditation
   
   

6. The Four Cardinal Virtues of Christianity

1. Prudence: Being practical and making wise decisions

2. Justice: Treating others fairly and with kindness

3. Fortitude: Having courage and perseverance in the face of adversity

4. Temperance: Moderating our desires and passions for the greater good
   
   

7. The Humanist Manifesto

1. The world is self-existing and not created

2. Human beings are a part of nature and have evolved through natural processes

3. Human beings have the responsibility to make the most of their lives and to strive for the greater good

4. Ethics should be based on reason and empathy, not on supernatural authority

5. The goal of human life is to achieve happiness and fulfillment
   
   

8. The Categorical Imperative of Immanuel Kant

1. Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law.
   
   

9. The Four Freedoms of Franklin D. Roosevelt

1. Freedom of speech… thought? expression?

2. Freedom of worship

3. Freedom from want

4. Freedom from fear
   
   

10. The Four Values of John Dewey

1. Democracy

2. Science

3. Education

4. Social responsibility
   
   

11. The Three American Rights

1. Life

2. Liberty

3. The Pursuit of Happiness.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

by Max Ehrmann ©1927

Intro to Wisdom (Draft)(Ehrman’s Desiderata framework)(Attributed)

Know yourself

Seek your own balance

Respect the balance of others

Respect the balance of nature (Apollonian)

Nurture courage to change what must be changed

Nurture serenity to accept what cannot be changed

Nurture wisdom to know the difference (Wygal/Niebuhr)

Strive to do good without attachment to results (Bhagavad Gita)

I. Yourself

How will you live 

Your one wild and precious life?

You do not have to be good

You do not have to walk on your knees

Far through the desert repenting

You only have to let 

the soft animal of your body

Love what it loves (Oliver)

Seek your own way

Without comparison to others

Go placidly amid the noise and haste

Remember what peace there may be in silence (Ehrman)

Consider your thoughts

For they become your words

Consider your words

For they become your actions

Consider your actions

For they become your habits. 

Consider your habits

For they become your values (Ghandi)

Be yourself

Be skeptical of what you have been taught

Question authority

Question yourself

Answer yourself

Do to be

Be to do

Commit

Learn

Do

Be                                                                                                     (Graffito)

Turn toward love

Turn toward your beloved (Gottman)

Against all aridity and disenchantment

Love is as perennial as the grass (Ehrman)

Break your heart until it opens (Rumi)

What is so strong as the human heart

Which shatters over and over

And still lives (Kaur)

Be here now

Living and alive in each moment

Prepare as best you may

Be boldly cautious

Be cautiously bold

Surrender but don't give up (Gonzales)

Be firm with yourself

Be gentle with yourself

Take kindly the counsel of years

Gracefully surrender the things of youth (Ehrman)

Nurture strength of spirit

Your shield in misfortune (Ehrman)

Do not distress yourself with dark imaginings

Fear is born of ignorance

Of fatigue and loneliness

Worry not about tomorrow

Live each day in its turn

Consider flowers of the field

They toil not

Neither do they spin

Yet they are beautiful

Beyond all reckoning

Beyond all rivalry (Jesus)

You are a child of the universe 

No less than the trees and the stars 

You have a right to be

You have a right to consent

You have a right to withhold consent

You have a right to speak your mind

You have a right to your own person

You have rights beyond all these

Life is yours to live

Life is yours to end

At the time of your own choosing

Live right

Live free

Pursue happiness

Die well

II. Others

Love yourself

Love your neighbor

Love your adversary

Each is equally deserving

It is easy to love your friend

It is hard to love your enemy

Therefore make no enemy of your adversary

As far as possible 

Without surrender

Be on good terms with all persons

Seek first to understand

After to be understood

Speak your truth quietly and clearly

Listen to others

Even the dull and ignorant

They too have their story

Keep your balance

In the face of anger

In the face of contempt

Remember who you are

Remember where you stand

Consider

While happiness can be solitary

The happiness of others

Is the happiness of each

Be generous for selfish reasons (Cooper)

Strive for equity for selfish reasons

Strive to empower all alike

Tolerate diversity

Shun only intolerance

Do all you have agreed to do (Toltec+)

Respect other persons and their property (Maybury)

All is allowed among consenting adults

Live and let live

Nurture compassion

Nurture kindness

Nurture equity

Nurture justice

Nurture mercy (Karate+)

III. The World

Respect the balance of nature

That balance is robust

That balance is fragile

You are of nature

We are of nature

Its life is your life

Its life is our life

Be cautious

The world is full of deceit

Yet be not blind to virtue

Whether or not you see

The world is unfolding as it should (Ehrmann)

Sitting quietly

Doing nothing

Grass grows of itself (Tao)

Therefore be at peace

Whatever your labors and aspirations

In the noisy confusion of life 

Keep peace in your soul

IIII. Life and Death

Tallest tree

Brightest star

Soon shall all be gone

Do not grieve for all you see

Nor woe this flesh and bone (Willis)

Go not gentle into that good night

Rage rage against the dying of the light (Thomas)

Go gentle nonetheless

Life is but a moment

Between life and death

Just a deep deep breath

Full of memories and dream (Ventum)

Die with memories

Not dreams

O thou 

Last fulfillment of life

Death 

My death 

Come and whisper to me

Day after day 

I have kept watch for thee

For thee have I borne 

The joys and pangs of life

All that I am

All that I have

All that I hope

All my love

Have ever flowed 

Towards thee (Tagore)

Death is like taking off shoes

Which all along

Have been too tight (Ram Dass)

Death does not extinguish the light

Only puts out the lamp

Because the dawn has come (Tagore)

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder

if I have made of my life 

Something particular and real

I don’t want to find myself
Sighing and frightened

Or full of argument

I don’t want to end up 

Simply having visited this world (Oliver)

And o 

There are days in this life

Worth the living

Worth the dying (Dickens)

Before death takes away what you are given

Give away what there is to give (Rumi)

Only in silence the word

Only in darkness light

Bright the hawk's flight

On the empty sky (Le Guin)

Intro to Wisdom (Preamble + Part I)

Know yourself
Seek your own balance
Respect the balance of others
Respect the balance of nature

Nurture courage
To change what must be changed

Nurture serenity
To accept what cannot be changed

Nurture wisdom
To know the difference

Strive to do good
Without attachment to results

Do to be
Be to do
Do
Be

 
I. Self

How will you live
Your one wild and precious life?

You do not have to be good
You do not have to walk on your knees
Far through the desert repenting

You only have to let
The soft animal of your body
Love what it loves

Go placidly amid the noise and haste
Remember the peace in silence
Seek your own way
Without comparison to others

Be your self
Be skeptical of teachings
Question authority
Question yourself
Answer yourself

Consider your thoughts
For they become your words
Consider your words
For they become your actions
Consider your actions
For they become your habits
Consider your habits
For they become your values

turn toward
that which you would increase
turn away from
that which you would decrease

Consider well which is which

Turn toward love
Turn toward your beloved
Love is as perennial as the grass
Break your heart until it opens
What is so strong as the human heart
Which shatters over and over
And still lives

Be here now
Alive in this moment
Prepare as best you can
Be boldly cautious
Be cautiously bold
Surrender

But do not give up

Be firm with yourself
Be gentle with yourself

Take kindly the counsel of years
Gracefully surrender the things of youth

Nurture strength of spirit
Your shield in misfortune

Do not distress yourself with dark imaginings
Fear is born of ignorance
Of fatigue
And loneliness

Worry not about tomorrow
Live each day in its turn

Consider the flowers of the field
They toil not
Neither do they spin
Yet they are beautiful
Beyond all reckoning
Beyond all rivalry

You are a child of the universe
No less than the trees and the stars

You have a right to be
You have a right to consent
You have a right to withhold consent
You have a right to speak your mind
You have a right to your own person
You have rights beyond these

Life is yours to live
Life is yours to end
At the time of your own choosing

Live right
Live free
Pursue happiness
Die well


II. Others

Respect yourself
Respect your neighbor
Respect your adversary

Each is deserving

It is easy to love your friend
It is hard to love your enemy
Therefore make no enemy 

befriend your adversary

As far as possible
Without surrender
Be on good terms with all persons

Seek first to understand
Then to be understood

Speak your truth
Quietly and clearly
Listen to others
Even the dull and the ignorant
They too have their story

Keep your balance
In the face of anger
In the face of contempt
Remember who you are
Remember where you stand

While happiness can be solitary
The happiness of others
Is the happiness of each

Be generous for selfish reasons
Strive for equity for selfish reasons

Nurture compassion
Nurture kindness
Nurture equity
Nurture justice
Nurture mercy

Strive to empower all alike
Tolerate diversity
Shun only intolerance

Do all you have agreed to do
Respect others and their property

Live and let live


IV. Life and Death

Go not gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light

Go gentle nonetheless

Tallest tree
The Brightest star
Soon shall all be gone

Do not grieve for all you see

Nor woe this flesh and bone

***

Death does not extinguish the light
Only puts out the lamp
Because the dawn has come

Death is like taking off shoes
Which all along
Have been too tight

Before death takes away
What you are given
Give away what there is to give

***

O thou
Last fulfillment of life
Death
My death

Come and whisper to me

Day after day
I have kept watch for thee
As I have borne
The joys and pangs of life

All that I am
All that I have
All that I hope
All my love
Have ever flowed toward thee

When it is over
I will not wonder
If I have made of my life
Something particular and real

I will not find myself
Sighing and frightened
Or full of argument

I will not end
Simply having visited this world

Life is but a moment
Between life and death
Just a deep breath
Full of memories and dream

I will die with memories
Not dreams unlived

But Oh

There are days in this life
Worth the living
Worth the dying

Only in silence the word
Only in darkness light
Bright the hawks flight
On the empty sky